If I were Muttiah Muralitharan, my emotions at this juncture would be mixed – it is sad to say adieu, but it is also nice to have won in the last match I played. I started playing when I was 8 and now at the age of 38, I have retired in the longest version of the game – test cricket. Much has been made about my 800 wickets, but to tell you the truth, it mattered very little to me. I am happy of course, but even if I would not have reached that magic number, it would be no big deal. That I have reached the landmark is just a bonus to a fulfilling Test career. I have had my share of problems – most of you would surely know. I had been labelled a “chucker” which used to really hurt at first. I started getting very self-conscious while bowling but did not let it affect my performance. My team mates – Arjuna Ranatunga, Aravinda Desilva and others were firmly behind me and I was able to face all the flak. To my great relief, the ICC cleared me, but there were many who just refused to change their opinion. If the ruling had been adverse, I would of course have not given up. I would have tried to set right what was wrong or would have come out with a different bowling style. I have been told that I smile all the time. I have with practice realised that, just as happiness makes us smile, a smile also makes one happy. So however tense the situation, I try to keep a smile on my face. This relieves the stress of the mind. I try not to get flustered. Mind you, it is not as easy as it looks, but on a cricket field, where tempers fray easily, where opponents are always trying to make you lose your nerve, developing such an attitude is really helpful. I don’t believe in sledging, glaring at the batsmen, gesturing and so on. Sport is after all something to be enjoyed, no point in creating rancour and bad blood. I just let the ball do all the talking. I have absolutely no grudges against the people who have pointed fingers at me, who have made wild accusations. They may have really believed that I was in the wrong. Let bygones be bygones. My career however is far from over. I am still available … [Read more...]
If I were M.S. Dhoni
If I were Dhoni, my thoughts would be running in a hundred different directions right now. I would be preparing what to say to the BCCI, I would be wondering why I performed poorly and where the team went wrong . Hardly 3 years ago, people had only good things to say about my batting and my captaincy. Now I am made out to be the villain. Is it pack-up time now, I wonder!I realise that one can't rest on past laurels and that public memory is short. When you perform, you are treated like god and when you don't, the public shows no mercy. I remember my house being attacked when the Indian team lost to Bangladesh in the opening match of the World cup in 2007. Where did I err? Did all the adulation, money and power get to my head? I cannot say for sure but something has definitely changed. The mirror does not reflect a fresh and energetic face anymore. I look quite haggard and tired. Is my body tired out by playing too many matches and is it crying for rest? As I reflect, I wonder if IPL matches have gained more prominence in my life than matches where I represent the country. The emotions which I experienced when Chennai Super Kings reached the semifinals of IPL 2010 by beating Kings XI Punjab and the joy when we lifted the IPL cup have not been felt by me of late, when I have played for India. My batting form has somehow managed to desert me. That would still have been okay, but several senior batsmen have also been playing poorly. The only hat-trick we have managed is losing matches thrice in a row. And now if the media is to be believed, I am on my way out. It seems that the fragile egos in the BCCI seem to have been affected when I blamed the IPL parties for the team's debacle. Either I should have kept this view to myself or I should have listed the other reasons too. My strategy was at fault, my tactics misfired, I blundered in team selection, I even committed errors in field placement. I wasn't able to motivate the team. Those members I usually rely on seemed to have issues other than cricket on their mind. Though you may feel I am being too harsh on myself, it is all perfectly true and my critics will surely … [Read more...]
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