If I were Muttiah Muralitharan, my emotions at this juncture would be mixed – it is sad to say adieu, but it is also nice to have won in the last match I played. I started playing when I was 8 and now at the age of 38, I have retired in the longest version of the game – test cricket. Much has been made about my 800 wickets, but to tell you the truth, it mattered very little to me. I am happy of course, but even if I would not have reached that magic number, it would be no big deal. That I have reached the landmark is just a bonus to a fulfilling Test career.
I have had my share of problems – most of you would surely know. I had been labelled a “chucker” which used to really hurt at first. I started getting very self-conscious while bowling but did not let it affect my performance. My team mates – Arjuna Ranatunga, Aravinda Desilva and others were firmly behind me and I was able to face all the flak. To my great relief, the ICC cleared me, but there were many who just refused to change their opinion. If the ruling had been adverse, I would of course have not given up. I would have tried to set right what was wrong or would have come out with a different bowling style.
I have been told that I smile all the time. I have with practice realised that, just as happiness makes us smile, a smile also makes one happy. So however tense the situation, I try to keep a smile on my face. This relieves the stress of the mind. I try not to get flustered. Mind you, it is not as easy as it looks, but on a cricket field, where tempers fray easily, where opponents are always trying to make you lose your nerve, developing such an attitude is really helpful.
I don’t believe in sledging, glaring at the batsmen, gesturing and so on. Sport is after all something to be enjoyed, no point in creating rancour and bad blood. I just let the ball do all the talking. I have absolutely no grudges against the people who have pointed fingers at me, who have made wild accusations. They may have really believed that I was in the wrong. Let bygones be bygones.
My career however is far from over. I am still available for the shorter formats of the game. That is up to the selectors of course. My immediate task however is to get my injured knee treated. I have not given much thought to what I will do after my final retirement.
I am happy that I have been fairly successful in the game I love. I think Sri Lankan cricket is in good hands under the captaincy of Kumara Sangakkara and I am confident that the current spinners will take our cricket to new heights. Personal records are always secondary. My journey has been a wonderful one.
Author: Pratibha Shenoy (Bangalore)
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