Often, models in and past their prime get into the news for all the wrong reasons- mental imbalance, drug abuse, suicide attempts. Which set me thinking, what is it that drives these beauties to this sorry state? Is it the fragility of relationships, the insecurities of the job, their short professional life which makes them desperate?
My thoughts went a little further. What if I were a model? What would my life have been like?
I would probably have been inspired as a child, to take up modeling having seen a Miss India or Miss Universe contest aired on television. In adolescence, this inspiration would have strengthened. My height, my features, my flawless skin would have only helped matters. Egged on by friends, I would have entered the world of fashion with the ultimate aim of getting to be a top model.
I would probably have started freelancing, but soon opportunities would have arisen which would enable me to make modelling a full-fledged career. Education would have taken a back-seat. Models have to start pretty young and if I waited to finish my studies, it would be too late.
My calorie consciousness would have started in my early teens. A future model after all cannot afford even an ounce of extra weight. The nutrition which my growing body would need would hardly be given any importance; the effects of my extreme diets and near starvation would show much later.
I would have started out innocent, with stars in my eyes, trusting and naive. Bitter experiences would soon teach me that there are hardly any true friends in the fashion industry. It would also be amply clear that ‘there are no free lunches’ and every favour received would have to be returned with steep interest.
I would probably be past my shelf life in my 20’s. My once fabulous skin abused by constant application of dozens of creams and lotions would by then be damaged, my fresh looks now gone. I would by then have reached the stage when I would have to think of an alternative career option. Movies or some other role in the fashion industry would be obvious choices. Being a film star would be an even more rewarding career than modelling and I would use my contacts to gain a foothold in the film industry. If this did not happen, my own industry would surely have a job for me – trainer, co-ordinator or some such role.
If things did not turn out the way I envisaged, if I was unable to maintain my earlier lifestyle, if friends deserted me as I was no longer a newsmaker, if I started feeling old, haggard and unwanted, lonely with no one to talk to, I would probably try to drown my sorrows in alcohol or get hooked on to drugs. And before I knew it, I would have sunk deep into an abyss with no way out.
The superficial life I had led all these years would now be replaced by years filled only with emptiness; and when I came across a chubby teenager rushing happily to college, I would wonder if I made a wrong choice in career.
Author: Pratibha Shenoy (Basavanagudi, Bengaluru)
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